Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
Somewhere we got the memo that being tough on ourselves is somehow virtuous. It’s not, and it doesn’t make us better, happier, or freer to be ourselves.
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Have you ever noticed how effortlessly you can compliment someone else, yet how awkward it feels when the compliment is directed at you? You’re often the biggest cheerleader for your friends, celebrating their victories and recognizing their brilliance, even when they can’t see it themselves.
But when it comes to you? Ah, that’s when the inner critic decides to throw a party. That voice, sometimes a gentle nudge, sometimes a full-blown shout, pipes up: “You’re not doing enough. You should be better. You’re just not quite ‘there’ yet.” Sound familiar?
If so, take a deep breath and know you’re in seriously good company. Research tells us that the average person juggles around 60,000 thoughts a day, and a whopping 75% of them are… well, less than stellar. Even crazier? 95% of those thoughts are just the same old record on repeat. We’re often stuck in the same internal loop, feeling bogged down by self-judgment, worry, and a persistent sense of inadequacy.
Somewhere along the way, we got the memo that being tough on ourselves is somehow virtuous. That self-criticism is the express lane to improvement, and that humility demands we shrink ourselves down to the size of a postage stamp. We learned that dimming our light makes other people feel… more comfortable?
Here’s the secret: Judgment never creates. It doesn’t make us better, it doesn’t make us happier, and it certainly doesn’t bring us closer to the freedom of being ourselves.
What if the very act of putting yourself down is the biggest thing standing between you and the life you’re craving? What if that confidence, that clarity, that lightness you’re chasing doesn’t come from “fixing” yourself, but from making the outrageous choice to actually enjoy the magnificent being you already are?
That’s the game-changer, my friend. It’s not about more self-criticism or endless striving. It’s about embracing the real, authentic, unapologetic YOU.
Let’s pull back the curtain and peek at what’s really going on, and how you can start rewriting this story:
1. You Don’t Have to “Get You Right” to Be You
We’ve been conditioned to believe that being yourself means achieving a state of perfection: being healed, successful, balanced, and zen 24/7. But that’s not what being you entails.
Being you isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about refraining from judging yourself, even when things feel messy. It’s about gratitude for your choices, rather than shame. It’s about saying: “I did the best I could with what I had in that moment, and now I’m choosing again.”
When you’re truly being you, you don’t live with a constant sense of wrongness. You begin to recognize your strengths in the very places where you used to see flaws. Trust me, that shift alone can change everything.
2. You Don’t Need to Find You—You Can Create You
How many years have you spent trying to “find” yourself? We often believe there’s some hidden version of us waiting to be discovered, and if we just dig deep enough, meditate hard enough, or read the right book, we’ll finally uncover it.
But what if being you isn’t about finding anything at all? What if it’s about creating yourself, moment by moment, choice by choice?
You are not lost. You’re unfolding. And every day is an invitation to create the version of you that feels the most vibrantly alive.
3. You Don’t Have to Be Liked to Be You
This is a big one. We’re conditioned to shape-shift, molding ourselves to fit other people’s expectations. We dim our own brilliance to avoid standing out, and we turn ourselves down to avoid being “too much.”
But what if your “too-muchness” is actually your superpower? What if your presence, fully turned up, is exactly what this world needs?
Your greatness isn’t measured by how small you can make yourself. It’s measured by how boldly you can be you, even in the face of judgment.
4. You Don’t Have to Prove Anything
Being you isn’t about proving your worth to anyone. It’s about relaxing into the magical energy that you already are.
You are not broken. You are not behind. And you are certainly not in competition with anyone else.
If you haven’t yet connected with that energy of being, spend some time in nature. Breathe. Observe the trees. Let the weight of the world gently fall from your shoulders.
It’s in those moments, when you stop trying so hard, that the real you begins to emerge.
5. You Don’t Have to Diminish Yourself to Keep Others Comfortable
So many of us have been trained to make ourselves smaller so that others don’t feel threatened, insecure, or left behind.
But every time you shrink, the world loses access to something only you can be.
Please know this: it’s okay to be different. It’s okay to embrace and enjoy your uniqueness.
Saying “I like me” is not arrogance; it’s an act of rebellion in a world that profits from your self-doubt!
So, What Can You Do Today?
Start with these simple steps:
- Notice when you put yourself down. Whose voice is that? Is it even yours?
- Interrupt the loop with a question: What’s right about me that I’m not getting?
- Try saying: “I like me.” (Even if your brain argues.)
- Ask: “Who could I be today that I haven’t yet considered?” and let that awareness guide your actions.
You don’t need to fix yourself before you can enjoy yourself. You don’t need to be perfect to be powerful. And you certainly don’t need permission to be the you that you are.
That’s what International Being You Day is all about, coming up on June 22. It’s a global reminder that your difference is a gift, that your being is enough, and that now is the space to choose it.
And the best part: When you like you, you give the world permission to do the same.
You may also enjoy reading 4 Ways to Choose Happiness Today, by Dain Heer.
