What Do You Hear? Listening as a Pathway to Peace and Happiness

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

In our busy world, we too often bypass a simple opportunity to connect, to calm and find joy — it’s called listening.

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We all find peace in different ways. I meditate, and when I do, I try to remove myself completely from all of my senses. For me, it is beautiful. But I also find that it brings me happiness to pay attention to my senses and listen to the world around me. It is another way for me to discover peace. I listen. 

It sounds so simple and elemental… but conscious listening actually requires intention and attention.

Listening to Nature

You are sitting outside on a beautiful day, perhaps at a park that you often come to. What do you hear? You might hear the birds. Are there other animals nearby? One of the most rewarding kinds of listening is listening to nature. Even though it seems easy, It takes practice. 

You need to prepare to be ready to hear. First of all, find a place that “speaks to you.” I can’t be more specific than that. You’ll know what I mean.

I’m sure that you can think of a place not too far from where you are right now that seems to have a beautiful feel to it. Go there. When you arrive, turn your phone off. Putting your phone on silent mode isn’t good enough, because even though your phone will not make a sound, you will know that it is on, and that will be a reminder of everything that might come through to you — phone calls, texts, messages, social media notifications. You have to free yourself from all of that in order to invest fully in listening. Then, try to clear your mind. Don’t think of everything you have to do, the people you need to contact, the future which is uncertain or the regrets you have from the past. 

Next, find a comfortable spot and a comfortable way to sit down, so that your body will not be speaking to you while you are trying to listen to the natural beauty all around you. We are all different, but I recommend that you try listening with your eyes closed, so that your sight doesn’t get in the way of listening. Open yourself to the natural world. It has so much to give to us. Now, can you hear the sound of water nearby? Can you hear the breeze? Try to focus entirely on the experience that nature has to give to you at this moment. It can be beautiful. It can lift your spirits. 

Listening to Other People

I have a friend who is wonderful in many ways, but he doesn’t really listen to anyone. He is really intelligent and believes from the moment I begin speaking that he knows what I am going to say and what it means. So he tunes out and pretty much just waits for me to stop talking so that he can begin telling me what he thinks. And sometimes he forgets what I am talking about and just starts on a new subject. Still, he is a very good person, and I treasure my relationship with him. He just hasn’t learned how to listen to others. 

Listening to other people is an active process.

The first thing you have to do is get outside of yourself. When you listen to someone else, you are trying to know that person. Your experiences are completely different. What you value is different. Listening to another person means that you have to put that person and that person’s feelings and thoughts ahead of yours. You can’t assume that if you have both had similar experiences that you both feel or think the same thing in response to those experiences. Don’t impose your interpretation of life on someone else. This is deceptively difficult, especially for intelligent people. What does the person you are talking to really feel? Ask follow-up questions. For example, if you are talking to someone who says that an experience really hurt, ask what the person means by “hurt.” You may be surprised to find that they mean something you never could have imagined. 

True listening involves empathy, not sympathy. You don’t need to tell someone you feel sorry for what they have experienced. But you do need to show that you respect that person’s feelings, even if they don’t seem like feelings you would have. It’s okay to be different. The world thrives on difference. And being empathetic means paying attention to what people don’t say, as well as what they do say. You need to learn to hear both things. 

And finally, listening to another person does not mean that we have to have a solution to whatever the person is discussing with us. Most of us rush to find a resolution. We want to help, but often, trying to solve their problem is not what they need. They just need to be heard — truly heard. And what they’ve said should be acknowledged. Don’t begin thinking of how to make everything all right. Sometimes there is no solution. And even if something would be a solution for you, it might not work at all as a solution for the other person. 

So, listen. Don’t talk about yourself. Don’t impose your feelings on the other person. Try to hear more clearly by asking questions. Show empathy.

And don’t work on solving the problem. It is amazing how good people can feel if they know someone has listened to them. Think back on the last time someone really listened to you. That is what you need to do when you listen to others. 

Listening to Your Surroundings

There is something special about immersing oneself in one’s surroundings, even in a busy restaurant, a store, or a crowded room. What can you hear? What is the sound closest to you? What is the sound you can hear that is farthest away? What is the loudest sound and what is the quietest? Are there sounds you can’t identify? A scratch of some kind? A knocking? Is there a machine making a sound, or is it a person? 

I promise you that listening to your surroundings can make you feel a connection with the world that you haven’t felt before.

It is a beautiful feeling to notice how much your surroundings speak to us. Even the sound of a grocery store can be a kind of music, if we pay attention to it.  I often start by listening in this way when I first enter a room or first sit down. I am not trying to listen for any particular thing; rather, I am just taking in the feel of the room. No matter what you are doing, listening will enhance your experience. 

Listening to Silence 

We have become a people who seek distraction. It is almost as if we fear just being with ourselves. I know people who simply can’t be alone with silence. They have to have music playing, their smart phones in their hands, or the television on — anything to make some noise or surround themselves with comforting activity and keep them from feeling alone. Is it loneliness that makes us crave distraction, or is it sadness? Listening to silence may not come easily at first, but I guarantee that it will be worth the effort to learn. 

You are valuable and don’t need to hide from yourself. I am not talking about sitting and thinking about your obligations, your work, your relationships.

I am talking about sitting with yourself and for yourself. Being alone can be very peaceful, once you shed the protections of noise and distraction that so many of us think we need. 

For me, listening to silence is empowering, because it is one way I tell myself that I do not need to depend upon distractions, upon electronic devices. I can be independent. But there is something else. Silence is itself peaceful and calming. It has no form, no words, no direction. It can help us connect to ourselves in a powerful way. 

Listening is a gateway happiness. We need to feel connected to nature, to other people, to our surroundings, and to ourselves, and listening can help us achieve these things. We are all so busy, so anxious, so tired. It is important to stop and smell the roses. But we also need to stop and listen to them.

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