Defining and declaring your ‘non-negotiable’ values helps create a balanced life of caring for self and caring for others
I used to always put other people’s needs before my own.
Physically, emotionally, in every possible way you can imagine. I was the go-to person to get anything done because it was hard for me to say no. Always willing to do ALL the things and complete as many tasks as possible.
In a deep consciousness level, I realized doing all that gave my ego a sense of worthiness and accomplishment. My ego-driven mind felt satisfied with the fact that I did things for everyone else; I was proud I could hustle like no-one else, that I went non-stop and gave the impression I had unlimited amounts of energy and supply. That was until it wasn’t satisfying anymore. It’s as if all of a sudden my body and soul caught up with my intense rhythms and told me I couldn’t take it any longer. I felt deflated, like a colorless balloon forgotten on the floor.
The funny thing is, I didn’t even know this was happening. I hadn’t realized just how much time I was devoting to other people’s needs and how much attention I wasn’t giving to my own.
It’s in our nature to want to give to others.
It’s our primary driving force and what offers us purpose, fulfillment, and happiness. I wholeheartedly agree with that — but there needs to be a balance.
We must also give to ourselves.
How long do you think you can go at such a pace before you burn out and start having feelings of resentment and anger? Not very long. I certainly didn’t. I was resentful and bitter, holding on to negative emotions without even acknowledging them or knowing how harmful they had become.
Once I realized that a healthier state of balance was needed for me and how vital that was, I started incorporating into my life what I call my ‘Non-Negotiables’.
These are actions derived from your values and principles that you do on daily/weekly/whenever NO MATTER WHAT (hence the term ‘non-negotiables’). It may take some time to figure out what works for you, but it’s way worth the effort. They will keep you balanced and offer you a sense of accomplishment, clarity and the ability to stay focused so you can continue providing to others from a more grounded sense of purpose and well-being. They help to recharge you, so everything is aligned in your mind, body, and soul.
To find your non-negotiables, you need to identify your values and how you want to feel, because how you want to feel will determine what you are willing to do to achieve those emotions. There are many resources online that offer a list of values you can start with.
Here are my top 10 values and the actions I take daily to achieve them:
Abundance + Prosperity: Daily Gratitude
Expressing out loud and genuinely feeling gratitude for what I already have and all I wish to attract and manifest takes me one step closer to experiencing abundance and prosperity in my life.
Balance + Calmness + Clarity: Meditation
I recently started doing 10 minutes of meditation every morning before I do anything else, and 10 minutes before I head to bed. This action helps me remain calm, be more mindful and grounded, and clears my mind of unhealthy energy blocks.
Creativity + Skillfulness: Quality Time
I read, watch videos or learn something daily to expand my knowledge, exercise my mental sharpness, and continuously grow. I also spend time talking with people close to me and expressing my thoughts about what I’ve learned that day. It enhances my creativity, communication skills, and fulfills my need for spiritual progress.
Impact + Bravery + Sharing: Writing/Creative Expression
Working on my Inspired Life in Greece blog and sending my weekly “Warrior” e-mails is how I achieve these three values. I try to be brave in putting myself out there and being vulnerable in sharing my work with the world, hoping it will have a positive impact. This is my most important non-negotiable.
Your list of non-negotiables will undoubtedly change as you evolve; your values will shift and so will your actions. Leave space for that to happen and re-evaluate every so often, letting go of the ones that don’t serve you anymore.
It’s vital we take care of our own values first and find the time to practice them. By doing so, we act as a great example and teach others around us what it means to find balance and operate from a place of wellbeing. We are better able to take care of others and show up with appreciation, happiness, and love. It’s what gives us power and fuel to keep giving and finding fulfillment in life.
A ‘non-negotiables’ list is one of the most powerful tools you’ll ever own. I implore you to define your values and start making YOU a priority. Even small steps forward can produce important shifts and begin to build momentum for resetting your balance and your life.
You may also enjoy reading The Art of Surrender | Unsubscribe from the Over-Achievement Struggle, by Kate Eckman