Getting on Life’s Conveyor Belt: One Woman’s Journey of Transforming What Wasn’t Working into What Was Meant to Be

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

When life looks good on the outside, but feels less than on the inside — trusting your intuitive self will get you where you’re meant to go

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Sometimes I literally stop what I’m doing, look around and wonder, has it only been one year or has it been a lifetime since everything changed? 

If you had told me, “A year from now Katie, you will be living at your favorite beach writing letters to yourself in the sand with a seashell in the middle of the ‘work day’,”…  Well, I don’t even know where to begin with how crazy I would’ve thought you were. And yet, if I had only looked closer, I would’ve recognized how throughout my life I often said things prophetically and then was shown the way. 

None of my life happened by magic. It happened by me. I just wasn’t recognizing the connections at the time…any of them.

  I have had a life filled with many magical instances and all the things that look good on ‘paper’ from the outside looking in: a successful corporate job, fabulous vacations, great friends, kids conceived naturally at 40 and 43 (even though fertility specialists doubted its feasibility). But there was a common denominator amongst them all — my unwavering faith in the belief that they would each happen, no matter what. 

So, what was the problem then?

More and more frequently, I began to sense a longing — something that pulled me toward a calling that had no name, just a feeling. Simultaneously, though I couldn’t explain it, I was also becoming repulsed by the ‘great house’ and ‘great life’ and ‘great job’ that I had so carefully crafted for the last 20 years. What in the HELL was wrong with me?! 

I pleaded for a sign, any sign…please. And boy did they come. BAM. My marriage was over, my job was gone, I had very few friends who understood me. I imploded. Or, was I being reborn? Because after spending so many days in the fetal position on my living room floor — the voice that began as a whisper so long ago, began to take center stage. Pssst. Remember me?

The more I listened to the whisper, the louder she got. You might be wondering…and the answer is yes…I did think I sounded a little cray cray! But little by little my confidence in this voice grew. As I leaned into the ‘knowing’ (you might call it your intuition) — the more I was rewarded with answers to my questions, plans for my next actions, and salves for my fears. I was transforming (big time). And things were moving as if I had stepped onto a conveyor belt passing my old life by at high speeds.

Just as a snake who sheds its skin must rub up against hard places, sometimes creating wounds and scratches — so too had I shed my skin by enduring some rough patches and wounds. I was becoming Me.

And there was no turning back…no un-shedding once the process had begun. Even though I wobbled, I didn’t want to go back.

I am embarking on a new career — one of my own design. I have moved to my favorite beach where I jog and sit in the sand breathing and daydreaming. I have a new home with my beautiful girls. I have found a tribe of women who speak to my soul and a life that feels more like me than anything ever has. I am making choices to honor myself not only as a strong and brave warrior of truth, but also as the soft place to land for those I love. Some days I’m scared shitless, others I move through boldly — but this beautiful shedding has allowed me to trust that all is well as long as I listen to the voice I am eternally committed to now.

So here I sit, writing these words to you, but also to me — as a witness to how far I have come and also how excited I am for what is yet to come on my unknown horizon. I am unfolding, transforming, shedding. I am alive for the first time in my life, truly alive…truly me.

And I’m not getting off the conveyor belt. Care to join me?

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You may also enjoy reading Thrust From Life’s Saddle: How a Horse Guided Me Home, by Sasha Lipskaia.