Choosing to Sleep (and Some Best Practices to Improve It)

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

Sleep is a human need which we all require; so why is there so much resistance to it? I’ve learned the hard way the importance — and joy — of sleep

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We are more powerful than we think. We can make changes in our lives that will improve our health and increase our chance of happiness. But people keep telling us that we can’t. Over the past fifty years or so, a myth has grown, telling us all that we are simply products of our environment, that we are powerless to change our lives. The story goes that we are shoved around by outside forces, things beyond our control. We wonder what can we do. The way we act, the people we love — all of this, we have been told time and time again — is beyond our control. But all of this is poison for the heart and soul.

If we look into ourselves, we know that, while we can’t control absolutely everything in our lives, we can make choices that shape our future. We can act in ways that help to create our dreams. Literally. This is something we need to celebrate.

It’s not always easy to make the decisions we need to make, but we have the power to make them. Take the example of sleep — the cornerstone of healing and foundational health. Choosing to sleep more and better seems like a relatively simple matter. But it is not, especially in America, where success is often defined by productivity.

In order to make the decision to sleep more, we need to stand up against a culture which dismisses sleep.

We are told that sleep is for lazy people. Ambitious people need to push themselves to the point of exhaustion. Most of us are raised to see success in our careers as more important than our own health or peace of mind. But I now know that the quality of our lives depends on good sleep.

A confession: I know this, because I fell into the trap of believing in the false god of career success for many years. I never got more than four or five hours of sleep a night, and sometimes less. It is hard for me to admit that I let this continue. I believed that doing my job was more important than being healthy and happy. Looking back at those years, it’s difficult for me to understand why I felt that way. But I did. I got up early and began work before other people, and then when I was home, I continued to work late into the night. Ahem, actually, I worked into the early morning.

So I’ve been there, and I’ve experienced the mistake. I chose the mistake. In fact, I am embarrassed to say that I bragged about it. I often told friends that I was just one of those people who didn’t need much sleep. I spoke with pride about working until 2:00 a.m. or 3:00 a.m. I enjoyed sending work-related emails in the middle of the night. Somehow, I made myself believe that doing this was a sign of virtue.

But the evidence was all around me that I was wrong. I just stubbornly refused to see it.

I just bought into the idea that being productive in my job was the most important thing. I was obsessed by my work. Does this sound familiar? I’m guessing that it might. A lot of us have bought into the myth that career success equals happiness.

I had read about the negative effects brought on by lack of sleep. The weight gain. Heightened blood pressure. Diabetes. A damaged immune system. The negative effect on mood. And then my weight went up. My blood pressure went up. I didn’t develop diabetes, but I probably would have if I had not made a change. I was sick more often than I had been in the past. And I found myself depressed a lot of the time. I wasn’t clinically depressed, but my spirits were low. I wasn’t fun to be around, and I just wasn’t enjoying life. And still I clung to the idea that I was born with a special gift to live well without sleep.

And then I noticed that I was actually less productive at work. I was just tired all the time. Sometimes I would drift off during a meeting. I rationalized these lapses by telling myself that the meetings were just boring. Well, to be fair, they usually were, but that’s not why I fell asleep. And sometimes I would fall asleep while working at my office desk. The lack of sleep definitely affected my productivity. And the most frightening thing was that I was often drowsy while driving. Why did it take me so long to make a change?

I hope that if you recognize yourself in my description that you don’t wait as long as I did to make a change. Have a good, long talk with yourself. Talk with your loved ones. Put your health and happiness ahead of your career. You don’t have to sacrifice your career; you just have to put it into perspective. You don’t have to give up your ambitions, your aspirations. But how valuable is career success if you lose your health and happiness?

Choosing to sleep means making the decision that sleep is crucial to your quality of life.

But it also means learning how to prepare for it on a nightly basis. The first rule is to not do all the things I did for many years. I left lights on in the bedroom. I had either the radio or the television on as I went to sleep. I would habitually check emails and texts as I lay down. I even left the sound turned on my phone, so I could hear the notifications through the night. And my biggest mistake was getting into bed, only to rehash all the day’s events in my mind — the issues I had left unresolved, the tensions with co-workers, the calendar of upcoming events and obligations. It’s a wonder that I was ever able to sleep at all.

Now I approach things differently. Understanding that sleep is a choice, I now embrace preparing for a good night’s sleep. The lights are never on. No radio. No television. My phone is plugged in, but it is turned over, so I never see any light from it, and the sound is turned off. The last thing I do (after wishing my wife good night) is clear my mind and breathe deeply for a couple of minutes. Magic. Sleep comes easily, and the dreams are good. I wake up in a good mood and well rested, ready to launch into whatever the new day holds for me.

My life is better now. I have lost 80 pounds, my blood pressure is perfect, and my immune system has improved. But the most noticeable change has been in my mood. I look forward to every day. I don’t get drowsy during the day, and to my great relief, I find that I don’t get sleepy when I drive — even on long trips. I still love my work, but I have turned down some opportunities which would have put too much pressure on me. If I hadn’t found love for a second time in my life, all of this would be good, but now it is more important than ever. By making sleep a priority, I look forward to a much longer, healthier life. Dreams can come true.

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You may also enjoy reading 5 Things You Can Do to Improve the Quality of Your Sleep, by Stacy Morgan.