Don’t fall prey to the expecations and ‘shoulds’ of motherhood. Free yourself to be spontaneous, creative, and YOU each moment as a mother
What happens when a career-driven, ambitious entrepreneur becomes pregnant and starts a family? Oftentimes, she becomes a ‘mompreneur’ or ‘supermom’ and sometimes both.
Once she becomes a mother, the same fire that was lit still burns inside her, or at least it can if she still strives to create, to work, and to be there for all the juicy moments of childhood.
Yet a new mother all too often faces limitations stemming from other people’s points of views of what motherhood should look like.
Here are some common myths of motherhood that should be dispelled once and for all:
Myth #1: Sacrifice is Required
When a new mother is handed her baby before she leaves the hospital, it’s almost as if she is also handed her assignment from society about what she must now do, who she must now be, and what she is expected to give up.
One of the major ideas is that to be a ‘good mother’, her life should now be all about her kids.
Modeling self-sacrifice for children teaches them they need to grow up and start giving up parts and pieces of who they are, too. Imagine instead, if we showed them, by example, that they can contribute to others by choosing to have and be all of themselves. That rather than giving away and having less, they could contribute and receive even more, simultaneously, simply by expressing the joy of giving.
Children can be demanding of your time and energy. They can also be the greatest manipulators on the planet who will do anything to get what they want! Tears, kisses, tantrums, you name it. It doesn’t make their needs more or less real, but you need to be the leader not the follower.
When a child wants you to stop working in that moment and sit with them while they play, are you a bad mother if you don’t? Are you a bad business person if you do? What if you didn’t judge what was right or wrong but instead asked…
what would create more for you both in any given moment?
The idea of sacrifice is that you stop what you are doing without question and give your child your attention. But when you start honoring your needs by including yourself in the choices you make, rather than constantly making sacrifices for others, including your children, you are adding to your life, your body, and your happiness. Subsequently, you will end up having more to give your kids — monetarily, energetically, and physically. Your kids might be grumpy in the short-term, but they will thank you in the long-run.
Myth #2: Social Media Images Are Real
We spend so much time looking from the outside in, absorbing other people’s judgments of what constitutes a ‘good’ mom or a ‘perfect’ body or what the ‘right’ work-life balance should be.
The truth is, being a mompreneur can get messy! Sick children. Unreliable babysitters. Last-minute emergencies. Give yourself permission to let your business life, as well as your family life, be chaotic.
Don’t try to put order where there is chaos; instead, use that chaos to create.
Show up for your commitments, but also follow the organic nature of what occurs throughout the day. Things change constantly, so you want to be working with the flow, not against. it. Be easy on yourself. Allow others to judge you as imperfect — because they will anyway.
But what if it didn’t matter? What if you could teach your children that they don’t have to give up any part of themselves to be right in someone else’s eyes? Go ahead and set that example for them now simply by being you!
Myth #3: A Mom Is Not A Professional
The influencer social media era we live in rewards those willing to be more out there and visible.
So stop trying to hide the fact you have children or pretending that you are not a mom. Instead, use your children to your advantage!
Let your clients know up front about your situation as a working mother. It’s okay to let people know before you call that they might hear childhood play in the background. No need to hide the fact that your kid has stayed home sick or the nanny just quit, or whatever it is that is real for you and your business and your household that day. Be real and a professional — your clients who respect you, will respect that.
By dispelling the myths of motherhood, you give yourself and your children the chance you deserve to create a life that is joyful, pragmatic, and works for you!
You may also enjoy reading The Secret to Successful Mothering (That Took Me 21 Years to Learn) by Rebekah Borucki