Learn 3 mind-shifts that will help you release the confusion, fear and judgment that hinder you from living your most vibrant and authentic life.
There are a lot of things that keep us from living our truth. There are also mind-shifts that you can learn to help you choose yourself time and time again. I share these with you so that you, too, can slowly start to break free of the need to please others at the expense of honoring yourself.
Here are my top 3 ways to be yourself and live your truth:
1. Get clear
It’s human nature to absorb and become influenced by our environment. With all the noise from media, our friends and family, our voice can get lost in a sea of voices. The one thing that helped me get clarity is solitude.
Many people have quit their jobs to travel. I’m one of them. It was the best thing I ever did. The biggest thing it helped me do was differentiate my inner voice from those around me. I solo-traveled for 7 months and it was empowering. I’m not advocating doing this unless it’s really right for you, but I do think that taking a leap of faith can be an amazing reset point. Small or big, it doesn’t matter. It’s an act that shows you that you’re worth it, that you’re respecting your deepest desire, and that you’re willing to put yourself first.
How do you know if you’re doing the right thing? You feel your intuition saying Yes! You feel expansive, not restricted. You feel challenged rather than forced. You feel pulled rather then pushed. You enjoy the struggle rather than despise it. It’s liberating. It’s freeing. It’s exciting. It’s fulfilling.
Solo-traveling, yoga and meditation have all helped me become self-aware. They helped my acquire focus and direction. They also allowed me to then accept and own my strengths and gently work on the things that were keeping me stuck.
2. Befriend fear
Being yourself takes courage. It requires looking at yourself as you are in this moment and accepting and honoring who you see. Let’s say you’re looking for a job. You most likely feel fear, doubt, uncertainty and anxiety. The more you look at your emotions and become aware of them, the faster you can flip them around and use them as a guide. Are you feeling fear because this is actually what you want, but you’re afraid of rejection? Then you probably should just go for it. Are you afraid that you’re going down the wrong path and have an inkling that this may not serve you? Then you probably want to steer away from that. Ask yourself what’s most important to you. What’s your definition of success and fulfillment? And why? Dive deep.
The fact is, as Steven Pressfield describes in The War of Art, fear and resistance may be more evident when you’re living your truth. This is because you’re not following the status quo, you’re out of your comfort zone, and you’re unsure of the future. On the other side of fear, however, is more clarity and joy — I promise you that. The trick is to enjoy the process. Enjoy this moment. The past and the future are figments of our imagination. They are not as important as our actual life, which is happening right now.
Life is just an experiment. It’s a journey to get to know your self. Remind yourself to laugh and smile more often. Remember that we already have so much to be thankful for. We have this one precious life. We have breath, shelter, food and water. We are truly blessed. The fear we feel is not life threatening; it’s an arrow pointing you in the right direction. With this feeling of abundance, take that next small step toward uncovering your truth.
3. Release judgment
We care way too much about what other people think about us. We think that people are scrutinizing how we look, what we do, what we eat. It’s suffocating. The people who are judging you harshly have been poorly misguided. Decide if you really want their judgment to dictate your life. Do you want to take ownership of your life or give others the power to rule your life? Do you want to please your mom/dad at the expense of your own happiness and self-expression? Once I realized that my parents would ultimately not be happy if I had just lived my life for them without honoring myself, I was able to just have a conversation with them. It’s a given that we’ll have different opinions because we grew up in different environments and had different experiences. Connect, express, and release. You’ve done your part — now go live your truth.
When I finally opened up to my conservative, traditional mom and had a civil, peaceful exchange of ideas, I felt free. Even though she didn’t fully understand where I was coming from, I felt heard and it solidified my truth. I gained the strength to ‘go for it’ regardless of what she thought. It’s my life after all. Truth is, I would do anything for my mom except disregard my truth. That would mean the death of my soul, my essence. Ultimately, that would not bring either of us happiness.
Bottom Line: The bravest people are the one’s living their truth despite fear. Fear can be a good sign — it’s telling you that you’re on to something important. Don’t run away from it. There’s immense growth possible if you face it and work through it. And always remember to be kind to yourself in the process. You need a confidant, so be your own best friend and pat yourself on the back more often.