Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
One woman’s journey of rising from the depths of darkness to awakening and choosing to follow something different — her intuition
I am a grateful person in long-term recovery. It has been a hard, bumpy road to here, but I can tell you one thing: intuition has been by my side through it all (even when I didn’t recognize it).
For me, intuition is trusting in something greater than myself. It is a radically fearless trust in what I can hear, see and feel. It is truth given to me by my creators and their creations. It works like an impulse that I curiously follow until the impulse becomes a ‘knowing’ — an understanding that never made more sense to me than in that moment.
It works in my life in many ways. It is a whisper of guidance — a feeling of pure faith — the understanding that overwhelmingly reminds me I am safe…at last. It is OK to exhale. It is an art in a way. At least in how I live my life. It is a precious gift.
For a long time I followed my impulses, which led me deeper and deeper into my addiction. One day an intuitive thought of self-preservation came to me and I followed it instead. It was a beacon of truth that was felt within every fiber of my being. I have never looked back. In sobriety I walk hand-in-hand with my creator.
I must survive my disease. With this power I walk with, comes the trust in my impulsive thoughts or actions. It breeds intuition. The trust of my intuition has led me through the most chaotic spiritual awakening. It has brought me face-to-face with my demons and awakened me fully. It led me to knowing this exquisite life purpose.
For years I have had to face my shadow while trusting no matter what I find deep within myself — that it is only for the betterment of myself. This is the essence of peace for me. This is what I hope to share with others on their journeys through their own awakenings. To meet the sides of them they have been hiding for so long. To Integrate back into the wholeness, they were before the social and tribal programming sunk their teeth into them. To trust that their intuition led them to this work. Because intuition is the divine communication between us and our faith.
And if the divine leads you to the water — you better damn drink.
I have betrayed my intuition mostly when I was younger. I did not listen to the signs my body, mind and spirit were giving me that I was sick and spiritually bankrupt. I do not regret my past or shut the door on it. No, I use it. I used it to heal and I’ll use it to help others do the same.
Betraying my intuition was a defining moment for me in becoming the woman I am today. I was meant to betray it in those moments to learn the lessons my soul sought out to understand — to witness the contrast. I believe we can live in a world where an intuitive thought or decision is not looked at as second nature, but an inherent part of life. I believe a world in which intuition is cultivated — can be more balanced in the masculine and feminine within us all. This gentle balance is what set me free from trusting my ego versus my higher self. Trust and take its hand…you will never look back.
You may also enjoy reading Champagne, Mocha & Fairy Godmothers: Embracing Trust and Serendipity, by Sarah Dyer.