The Art and Power of Self-Forgiveness

Self-forgiveness is the key to advancing beyond recurring problems and issues in your life

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There is a LOT of cosmic energy swirling around us. From the Solar Eclipse to Mercury Retrogrades to the many natural disasters across the globe, it’s safe to say that energetically, this world has got a LOT going on at the moment.

If you are like me, you might be noticing that old energies are also coming up — problems that we thought we’d already dealt with, issues that we thought were put to bed and resolved, self-sabotaging habits or coping mechanisms that we thought we rid ourselves of long ago. The resurrection of all these swirling energies and old experiences can get us feeling a bit like Fat Amy in Pitch Perfect when she flails her hands and screams aloud: “ENOUGH!”

Here is the good news: though it feels overwhelming and even a bit like a hot mess at the moment, fear not! You might not actually be regressing into old habits or paradigms of a former self; instead, you might be in the middle of what I call ‘the slinky experience’.

A slinky is circular, with many levels/layers. If you think about it visually, a slinky goes around the same points over and over again, as it simultaneously expands and lengthens higher.  If you’re coming up on old issues and past habits, you’re essentially like a slinky, coming around to the same points over and over again. But the kicker is, each time you’re encountering them at a higher level. In other words, we all go around and around the slinky through life, coming up on the same old issues again and again, but with a greater level of understanding and a wider tool belt of resources available to us each time.

It’s as if the Universe is giving us another go at healing/dealing with these things, over and over again.

So how can we make the most of this? How do we make sure this is a ‘true’ slinky experience and not just a complete meltdown? How do we make sure we’re actually learning this time?

The key is self-forgiveness.

When we come upon a slinky experience, we can immediately find ourselves in a self-judging or panicked state asking ourselves the following questions:

• “Why is this coming up again? I thought I dealt with this before!”
• “Does this mean I haven’t made ANY progress with all the self-development work I’ve been doing?!”
• “Clearly I’m a total failure. I can’t even keep resolved things in the past.”
• “What the frick is WRONG with me?!”

The reality is that we are given these slinky experiences as a way to step up to the plate of self-love by truly partnering with ourselves as we move through life — a.k.a. moving through life gracefully.

We’re being given opportunities to learn at a deeper level, to understand ourselves more, to welcome the experiences with open arms…

…which is why this element of self-forgiveness is so important.

It’s very difficult (and nearly impossible) to truly learn from an experience when we’re busy berating ourselves and making ourselves wrong. It’s like trying to hold an in-depth, connective conversation with a friend when you’ve got a knife digging in your ribs. Your focus on what’s being said and presented to you in the conversation likely won’t last very long.

But as we introduce the element of self-forgiveness, the entire nature of our slinky experience can change. We remove the stress of the self-judgment and freak-out, which frees up our brain, heart, and body to truly receive and understand the message the Universe is trying to deliver to us by bringing back up our old issues.

So how do we take that step towards self-forgiveness? How do we implement self-forgiveness instead of just dismissing it as an, “Eh, that might be nice,” faraway thought?

This is how: The next time that you recognize that you’re feeling some kind of reaction to an old issue coming up (sweating, anxiety, self-loathing, self-judgments, etc.), stop and gently put your hands over your heart and ask yourself, “If I were the most generous and loving version of me, what would I say to myself at this moment?”

After you’ve received that message from yourself, practice a Hawaiian technique called Ho’oponopono. With your hands on your heart, say aloud the words, “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.”

This is not a one-time deal where you will magically find yourself perfectly aligned and never go into self-judgment again. However, it is immensely effective at providing a deep beginning to your self-forgiveness practice — especially as you do it over and over again.

As you move forward throughout your day utilizing this practice, you’ll likely notice many positive things show up: more clarity, more patience, more love for others, and more presence, just to name a few.

Sounds a lot more pleasant than a barrage of self-judgment and worry, doesn’t it?

In this newly empowered state, you will undoubtedly find that you are much more open and clear to receive the lessons and understandings that are being brought to you through the slinky experiences of life. Rather than run from these thoughts and feelings, you will be able to welcome these old energies coming back up by asking yourself:

• “What is meant for me here?”
• “What is the message I am meant to receive?”

When you get your answers, you just might find that you have advanced a lot further along than you thought you had.

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You may also enjoy reading The Path of Least Resistance: 11 Helpful Hints for a Life of Magic and Joy by Emily Madill