Whether it’s money, love, support, a meal, or even an orgasm, receiving fully allows for vulnerability and nurturing which enhances your wellbeing
When I recently offered to help a friend struggling with money during the pandemic, I realized just how tough it can be for some of us to receive from others. Not only did my friend politely decline my offer, but she also made sure I got the message that she had never asked for my help in the first place.
Although we all need each other to function at our best, the illusion we hold of being self-sufficient allows us to feel in control. The more in control we feel in our lives, the more we get to experience a sense of certainty.
However, finding your place in the world requires accepting our interdependence.
It also means allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to receive from them the help you might need to grow into a better and happier person.
Whether we are talking about money, childcare, love, guidance, support, an idea, a home-cooked meal, or even an orgasm, fully receiving means giving yourself permission to be fully supported and satisfied.
The word ‘receive’ comes from the Latin word recipere: re(back) + cipere (to take), or to return to and make whole again. Although today ‘receive’ is often used interchangeably with getting, taking, or obtaining, it does not have the same energy. There is an element of trust and faith involved in receiving, a willingness to allow something to evolve as it should and touch us deeply rather than taking possession or grabbing it by the horns to use it as we wish.
If you look at receptivity as the desire to make something whole, then you can see how the inability to receive stands in the way of your happiness and success and affects all areas of your life. It may be what is preventing you from fully experiencing sexual pleasure, having orgasms, or even getting pregnant. It may affect your relationship with food, often inducing eating far more than our body desires, and sometimes leading to binging. And it may be the reason why you always end up with a partner who is frugal with money or financially unstable.
On the contrary, when you know how to receive with grace, you can fully enjoy love, attention, intimacy, plus sexual and sensual pleasure.
You can ask for a raise or speak about money with ease and confidence, you can accept help and support when you most need it, and you can enjoy a meal savoring each mouthful without experiencing the urge of overeating.
Receiving is an art, a transformative practice you can cultivate daily starting in this very moment. It can be as simple as breathing intentionally for a few minutes, so that your body can fully receive the air coming in through your nostrils. Or it can be using one meal a day as an opportunity to awaken your senses by smelling the aroma, noticing the colors on your plate, and studying the textures and flavors of each mouthful.
Receiving is about being able to fully take in what we need in our lives.
That is why our capacity for receptivity is so deeply connected to our capacity to give and love unconditionally. Becoming more receptive requires you to be more present in your life which encourages you to recognize each small daily action that can be used to nurture and feed your body, your mind, and your soul.
Think about it, do you allow yourself to be present enough to experience the invigorating sensation of water washing over your skin as you take your daily shower? Do you choose to pause after a workout so that you can sink into the uplifting experience of bliss that’s available in that moment? Do you grant yourself permission to stop thinking about what you have to do next, so that you can fully take in the sparkle of joy in your child’s eyes?
If you think receiving is not as important, or as honorable as giving, think again. Choosing to receive is the greatest act of generosity. So, the next time you are asked if you need help or support, before you say no, ask yourself: “Would this make me feel more whole?” Unless you are full and complete within yourself, you will NOT be able to give, love, or relate to others without having your own agenda.
The more you practice being open and receptive, the more you’ll grow your capacity to receive not just from other humans but from life itself.
Soon enough you’ll notice yourself gravitating towards healthier relationships and more fulfilling opportunities while experiencing more ease and pleasure in your life. The moment you learn to receive and feel satisfied, you’ll embark on a journey to become a better friend, a more loving mother, a kinder daughter, a more successful business woman, a more sensual lover, a wiser leader, and all-around better being.
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