Beyond Competition: What is Actually Possible for Women

While feelings of competition with other women have roots which begin early in life, overcoming this mindset can free us to fully flourish.

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Do you recall how old you were when you were in your first competition? I have a hard time recalling it for myself. However, I watched my little niece when she turned 3 years old, standing in the bathroom with me and her mom in front of the mirror, she looked at her mom and said: “My mom is really beautiful, but I am even more beautiful.”

For me, it was really interesting to see that. I realized that women, even from an early age, tend to compete in order to define themselves and to create an identity. Competition is used to ultimately discover self-worth, as an attempt to find out who or what they truly are. That made me wonder…

What lies beyond competition and us constantly seeking approval, acknowledgement, and validation from the outside?

What if we find our true value within, rather than trying to determine it based on outside sources? What if there is a sense of you, which is much more a space of your being, that lies beyond all these definitions and created identities — that well-known yet mostly undiscovered thing… called Being You. And what is required to get more in touch with being you?

Acknowledgment is the key to start being more you.

Start acknowledging who or what you truly are, and you will invite more of what you are into existence.

The funny thing about acknowledgment is, once you start acknowledging things about you, others will start acknowledging you too. Please be aware that acknowledgment is not an affirmation. True acknowledgment is something you feel, not something you need constantly tell yourself.

Acknowledging what you are being, invites even more being of whatever you acknowledge, into existence.

Start an Acknowledgment Journal.

An easy way to get into more acknowledgment of yourself is to put a journal next to your bed and every night write down three things that you acknowledge about yourself or that you have been or did that day.

Acknowledge what you may be lacking.

If you catch yourself trying to get the acknowledgment, approval or validation of somebody, start asking, “What am I not acknowledging about me, that if I would start acknowledging it, would allow others to see it, too?” Then follow your awareness and start acknowledging whatever it is.

Becoming more charismatic & elegant is a side effect of you being you.

Women who are in connection with that knowing of who or what they truly are, tend to be more charismatic and radiant. They exude a certain elegance and a sense of needlessness. And yes, it is a knowing of who or what you truly are that frees you from the constant search on the outside. Once you have discovered the truth of who or what you truly are, your inner void is filled, and you can start functioning from the elegance of needlessness instead of being in constant need of validation, approval, and acknowledgment from others. How do you get into that state of knowing of who truly are?

True Being is not defined and comes from a knowing.

Take some alone time as often as you can in a place where you are undisturbed. Or take a walk and spend some time in nature, connect with the earth, and then start asking questions like:

If I were truly being me here, who or what would I do?

If I had no role to play and no identity to maintain, who would I be?

If I were truly being me today, what would I choose?

Then put your attention in your heart and start listening to the whispers of your awareness. True being is undefined. It is also not a mind thing. So, you have to get out of your head in order to discover it.

What is possible beyond competition?

Being who or what you truly are resolves the need for competition. You can’t be you and compete with others at the same time. Being you is the antidote of competition. You can only compete when you function from an identity. Being you is the space beyond identity.

The more you begin to be all that you are, the more you start functioning from the inclusion of others, from a place that invites everyone in and creates more for everybody involved. This is when you start shifting your personal connections from relationships, which are about maintaining identities and boundaries, into ‘Creationships’ — which is an invitation for creating much more, and a greater future for everyone involved.

So, who are you?

You may also enjoy reading The Importance of Intention to Create Freedom and Aliveness by Carter Miles