Speaking Up: Tools and Practices for Claiming Your True Self & Happiness

7 steps to allow you to live a better life in which YOU are in control of your happiness

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At times (if not always) we are our harshest critic. We deprive ourselves of life’s simplest and greatest joys because of one reason or another. We even withhold love and joy from our very selves and from the people we love most because of this dissatisfaction or unsettledness we have in ourselves. We think, “Until I have my dream job, only then will I be fully happy and feel satisfied” or “Once I make 6 figures, I’ll feel content that I made it.” We might even say, “I’m not good enough, not pretty enough, not fun, outgoing, social, cool, smart, brave or outgoing enough to be this or to do that!” Well, that can’t be further from the truth!

You have created these thoughts in your head from experiences or maybe from things people have told you based on their own unhappiness or insecurity. And just as you have created or adopted these thoughts, you also have the ability to destroy/rid/change them as you choose more truth-based statements, and more positive and loving statements that will allow you to live a better life in which YOU are in control. 

We keep chasing things that we think will fulfill us — possessions, people, sex, drugs, vacations, alcohol, work, successes — until we realize something is still missing. We seek things to quench our thirst for satisfaction and content until something gives and you hit rock bottom. Maybe you have a mid-life crisis, or feel that something is off, or simply decide enough is enough. The truth is, this is an empty and endless dream you will continue to chase until you realize you and only you are responsible for your own joy/happiness, your self-worth, and the life that you want to live.Not anyone or anything else — only yourself. 

So, what are you going to do if you want to give yourself happiness? Start by looking inwards.

If you are feeling frustrated, down, stressed, sad, ungrateful, unhappy or just off, don’t wait for others or things to give you that endless joy. It is your right to be happy, to feel alive, to smile and laugh so don’t wait for others to do it. Be BRAVE!

This morning I woke up and thought: “If I’m going to live a hugely different life then I need to start doing things drastically different.”Why?Because whatever I was doing was no longer working. As life’s circumstances changes, we must too. As time goes on, we must evolve and brave the changing tides.

That’s why I decided to journal first thing in the morning before I meditated. First, I jotted down a few insights I had the night prior on my life situation to remind myself of my intentions. Then, intuitively I started to write down manifestations or positive affirmations. 

I don’t usually write down positive affirmations when I journal, but I just went with it as I wrote:”I’m happy, I’m secure, I’m confident. I have a great relationship. There is nothing wrong. I am happy, I am content, I am worthy. I am enough. I am making decisions and doing things that align with my beliefs and values and there is nothing wrong. I am healing. I am light. I am calm. I am worthy. I am capable. I am deserving. I am beautiful. I am a great catch. I am fun. I am not jealous. I am a supportive girlfriend. I am friendly.”

And as I wrote these positive affirmations I felt my heart open, my body relax, and my nose crinkle as I smiled and felt peaceful. A sense of calmness came over me as I thought to myself that everything was all good. I felt happy, I felt joyful, I felt confident. I felt secure. I started to feel all those things that I was writing about.As I was speaking my feelings into existence, I was starting to truly understand the meaning of this quote by Arnold Schwarzenegger:Where the mind goes, the body will follow. 

If you are having trouble living your ideal life as your true self, then try out these 7 steps for a reset:

1. At bedtime before you go to sleep, journal! Do a brain dump. Put your thoughts on paper — your feelings, emotions, thoughts, self-talk — and just put it to rest by releasing it on paper. Then, set an intention/wish/desire of how you want things to be different. Imagine/think/feel/visualize how that might look and feel once you are or have all of that.

2. Seek wisdom/insight from your dreams regarding your life situation/intention you’d like to work on.Fun fact: We actually work to solve our problems in our brain overnight in our dreams. That’s where that old saying comes from: “I’ll sleep on it.”

3. When you wake up (or after you meditate), journal your thoughts/feelings/emotions/insights and anything you may remember from your dreams.

4. Write “I am” statements about all that you want to become/be/manifest.DO write present-tense positive affirmations such as: “I am healthy. I am whole. I am healing. I am light. I am worthy. I am enough.”DO NOT write future-tense affirmations and preferably not negative affirmations either such as: “I will be happy one day soon.” “I am not mean.”Instead, write: “Today, in this moment I am happy. I choose to be happy. I welcome joy. I am smiling. I am worthy and deserving of joy in my life. I am responsible for my own happiness.” “I am nice. I am kind. I am friendly. I am loving.”

5. Incorporate a few of your positive affirmations during your meditation to further manifest them. You can also write it on a piece of paper and put it on your bedroom wall or bathroom mirror to remind yourself each day about what you want to speak into existence.

6. Put a pleasant alarm on your phone that rings throughout the day or at a specific time each day to remind you to speak aloud your positive affirmations. Or use environmental cues such as every time you’re in an elevator or at a traffic light or stop sign to remind yourself of your positive affirmations.

7. Notice how your body and mood feel after the exercise. Repeat your affirmations each day until you feel a change in your life. Then, change it up with different intentions/affirmations that you’d like to welcome into your life.

Live it! Do it! Even if you have to fake it till you make it! Claim your life by painting the picture you want. Remember: YOU are the writer of your story!

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You may also enjoy reading Affirmation Station | The Power of Positive Affirmations, by Tonia Joy Antonio