Interview: Giancarlo Esposito | Leap Of Faith

Actor Giancarlo Esposito

A Leap Of Faith

Interview by Kristen Noel

Photographs by Bill Miles at Hotel St. Cecilia, Austin, TX — October, 2014

You make the choice in the conscious moment, in every single moment, to be happy, to be sad, to be in abundance, to be exhilarated, to be of service. You make that choice and in seconds it goes into the Universe and that’s what we put out. We can change that. We are in control of that.

What you think grows!

-Giancarlo Esposito

Listening to Giancarlo Esposito, one cannot help but feel like they are listening to an impassioned minister, with a Universal message – one that resonates of deep spiritual love and authenticity. I know, I know…how is it possible that such an irreverent character villain (can we say, Gus Fring, amongst a string of others) possesses this kinder, gentler underbelly and even refers to himself as a “spiritual entrepreneur, a spiritual warrior,” all with such humbling grace? This is the great dichotomy of Giancarlo Giuseppe Alessandro Esposito. It is also why he is captivating from the moment you hear his voice. It is seductive, distinctive, authoritative and sincere, topped off by an infectious laugh and a hardy sense of whimsy. It is the voice of a seeker.

In a refreshingly candid interview, Giancarlo set his signature hat aside long enough to sit down with us to celebrate the launch of Best Self and to impart the messages he is most passionate about. While tracking down this man, who operates in a life-out-of-a-suitcase mode, was no easy feat – from the moment we first reached out to him, he was immediately onboard. No hesitation, that’s just how he rolls. Giancarlo makes time to do his part to make a difference in the world, to leave his footprint. When something resonates with him, he commits. Unabashedly self-deprecating and real, he invites us into his space of vulnerability and seeking. And like so many great artists of the world…he dances in stardust and operates in one mode – leap of faith. He is our chosen poster-boy for striving for all things best self. Namaste.

Growing up watching TV in a humble basement apartment in Yonkers New York, Giancarlo and his older brother believed they could perform just like the characters they viewed on the screen. At their first audition at the Winter Garden Theater, timid seven-year-old Giancarlo was sent to one side of the stage and his brother the other. It was clear in that moment that his side was on the losing end of that stick. Suddenly someone came from behind gently pushing him forward and said, “Would you give this young man another chance?” And in that moment, two inexperienced-left feet and all – Giancarlo burst out in song with the first thing that came to mind, Happy Birthday. A voice from the shadows of the audience called out, “Where was this voice hiding?” And the rest is history. The Voice.

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View the interview trailer:

Kristen:

Was there ever a moment in your life that you questioned your pursuit of this career path – did you experience a crisis of faith, stand on the brink of letting it all go at any point?

 Giancarlo:

Every day. I’m currently in one now. Having to move on from playing this iconic character, Gus in BREAKING BAD, I ask myself – how do I recreate me? I have to allow myself to be ok with people’s disappointment that I am not Gus or that I may not want to play other Gus-like characters. I’m at a crossroads being offered very lucrative projects and questioning the road before me. I want my next choices to link up with my heart and my passion. I was recently involved in a collaborative documentary film that I feel honored to be a part of, titled ON MEDITATION. My segment is a guided meditation in which I address the process of releasing previous life experiences, encouraging others to stay spiritually connected and to seek knowledge. Do I want to make a good living or be true to myself? I do not believe they have to be mutually exclusive.

I am currently working on getting crystal clear with my ASK – what I want to do, what would be creatively special, where will I be of best service, what is my path to best self. We aren’t used to asking, as we exist in this modality of instant gratification. I am allowing myself the time to sit, to be in silence and to allow the heart space to open. This isn’t easy for me – I’m in constant motion. It takes dedicated practice to quiet both my body and my mind.

Kristen:

Did anyone ever try to dissuade you?

Giancarlo:

All the time. George C. Scott was a great motivator early in my career on Broadway. [Giancarlo continues to recount with full actor-ly emphasis]. Late one night in a restaurant after the theater had closed, he came up behind me, wrapped an arm around me and said, “Don’t do it. Don’t you do it unless you really have to.” Those words challenged me, but this was my passion – it was in my blood pulsating through my veins. Even as a starving actor waiting tables, terrified that I would not get back to the theater, I knew this was my vehicle. There was no contingency plan, no Plan B. To this day, I thrive in the pressure cooker – it is under that pressure that the diamond is created – where we victoriously faceoff with the unknown.

Whatever it is that we are doing in life, we should be creating. Find the joy within it and life will be complete.

Kristen:

And in this crazy world of fame, fortune and excess – what is your touchstone – what is it that you hold onto, what keeps you grounded and aligned with your calling?

Giancarlo:

Meditation. This is how I quiet the chatter of my incessant mind. I practice yoga to calm my body. This touchstone pulls me out of the fearful places my mind can travel to. Within this place I can muster the tools I have acquired and transition from the self-imposed bad theories of poverty mentality to my higher self. I have the tools to weather the storm, to peel back the layers of my experience as a means to reveal the gift.

I believe the tests that come into our lives are specifically designed for us.

Kristen:

Do you feel you have a mission to serve?

Giancarlo:

Absolutely. There is no doubt. I am not just a performer. My mission in my work is to move people from one place to another, to allow them to see something about their lives in my performance that they can relate to. I know it is my mission to bring people to their best selves – even if it is through them witnessing me not being my best self. [Big Giancarlo laugh].

Kristen:

How did you keep your faith alive – how do we keep faith alive? And what advice would you give someone else…perhaps another struggling actor or anyone out there questioning their career path and their life path?

Giancarlo:

Go through the fire and find ways to believe in yourself and your work. Find a way to feel. Find a way to bring back that spirit left behind, reconnect and stay connected to your passion. It is your responsibility to yourself. Remember you can choose. It’s so important to stay on the path. It’s going to curve, go in different directions. You will have doubts. You will have fear. But it really does take tapping into what you are passionate about and staying the course, no matter what. If you don’t know what that passion is, ASK. Ask what that might be, and ask every day until you get your answer. It’s the voice inside of you – the key is in our own hearts. If you are lost, you have to say, “I’m lost.”

Some people think we are unable to change our choice, but if you feel like it isn’t working for you – change! There should be no separation of your craft, what you love to do and your life. The magic is in the melding of these, bringing them all together.

Choose something that you love to do and you will be fulfilled and you will never work a day in your life.

Kristen:

How have your past experiences informed the manner in which you now leap in your life?

Giancarlo:

I’m moving more and more to talk about how we free ourselves from what we have learned in our lives from the world. Spirituality is the way to break out of the birth and life cycle and the key is to be spiritually connected. It’s like a car accident that everyone slows down to look at… we are drawn to tragedy. But when are we going to be drawn to the light?…to being uplifted? When do you seek to bring someone out of suffering? That is my new service.

Kristen:

Tell us one thing people will find surprising about you?

Giancarlo:

I think people will be surprised that I am not always having fun, that I sometimes feel depressed and despondent thinking I will never get back to that place of bliss, to be passionate again, to attain a certain level of success. My depression has been a teacher. When we slip and stay in it for too long it comes after us like a dog that knows you are afraid of it. The key is to recognize that this place of depression or sadness is a place of transition, not permanence. It takes concentrated practice to shift from old thinking and to change. It’s a process. Sometimes faith slips through our fingers. When I land in this position, as dark as it may appear, I know that I will feel the electricity again, because I am always looking for inspiration. I wrongfully thought early in my career that I had to suffer for my art. I don’t want to see people suffer. It is my desire to be a part of easing the world of its pain. When we are connected with ourselves, connecting the dots of our intentions, actions and heart, we can be connected to each other.

Kristen:

How do you want to be remembered? What do you want to be remembered for? Finish this sentence… He was____________.

Giancarlo:

[Delivered with no hesitation and resolute confidence]. He was a person who uplifted others and changed the world through his actions, his smile, his energy and his LOVE.

Kristen:

Do we ever stop? Do you believe that we finally figure it out and graduate to the next level of enlightenment?

Giancarlo:

That’s the magic, that’s the juice – to be in surrender and to be in the flow of the energetic purpose that we have in our lives. I don’t believe there will be a moment of Nirvana… okay there probably will be… where I can just raise the level of what I am looking for… But I happen to know that what I do, is just the road for what I’m about to do. It’s never ending – there’s more joy, we get more gold nuggets as we go through it.

Since receiving my star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, my brother regularly asks me… “Yes, but are you happy?” It makes you think.

Kristen:

I find it an interesting twist of fate that your life has been surrounded by women, not in the usual stereotypical Hollywood sense, but rather by raising four of the most amazing and uniquely individual young women I know. That’s a lot of estrogen in any house – how has this bounty of womanhood impacted your life?

Giancarlo:

Well it depends upon who you ask [laughing]. If you were to ask some of my buddies from an earlier time in my life, they might say it is Universal payback. I have always loved women, and another surprising thing that people may not know about me is that I am a recovering womanizer. Today, I would rescript that and tell you that my girls have helped me reshape my relationship to myself, my lineage and others…and that’s a beautiful thing. They have taught me, each in their own way, the greatest gifts of my life – to pay more attention, to listen more, to respect women on a whole other level and to come clean. [Laughing]. And they call me out all the time.

Kristen:

What do you think the youth of the world can teach us?

Giancarlo:

[Smiling]. They come out formed with their own stuff.

My children have taught me to free myself of what was learned in the world, to peel back the layers. It has helped me reconcile my past. They have reminded me to have fun, to be in this moment, this present moment.

Recently, we were packing up to leave from a long exhausting event, a young girl was blocked from approaching me. Truthfully I was tired and exhausted, but I heard her call out a question to me that stopped me in my tracks, “Tell me, how can we change the world and make it a better place?” It was music to my ears – those words instantly pulled me out of my own state of mind and prompted me to remember why I was really there in the first place. “Bring her back!” I yelled. We sat and spoke for a few moments at which point, I told her that when we stop thinking about the YOU and I, and start thinking about the WE and US, our life changes. We need to be of service. I am happiest when I am in service.

Kristen:

What do you tell your own children and other young people with respect to their faith in themselves and the world around us? What encouragement would you impart?

Giancarlo:

Be yourself. Be yourself and love yourself. Have courage and be courageous. Clarity requires courage. Commit. It is not until you commit that the Universe really hears, feels and trusts you. Commitment is very important. [Pause]. And… life may not be the way that you thought it would be.

Kristen:

If you had to sum up your message for the world in one sentence, what would it be?

Giancarlo:

Be kind – be kind to yourself first. Be kind, be forgiving and be of service. Develop a practice of quiet time – investigative quiet time.

Kristen:

Thank you for being an extraordinary talent and an extraordinary human being. Hat’s off to you my friend, and to all the artists on the globe who literally live in a state of leap of faith!

Giancarlo:

It has been an honor. This will be such a wonderful unfolding and beautiful endeavor for all involved and thank you for having the grace and the inspiration to bring it to fruition.

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