The Soul and Addiction

Estimated reading time: 13 minutes

Is the existence of the soul a myth or a truth? How can we expand our relationship to our soul to overcome struggles and create a more fulfilling life?

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[A special excerpt adapted from We Are All Addicts, by Carder Stout]

There has been plenty of talk of the soul in recent years—and not where you would expect it. In his inaugural address in 2021, as he promised a bitterly divided nation that he would bring America together, President Joe Biden stated that his “whole soul is in it.” He was quoting Abraham Lincoln’s hallowed words after signing the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863, which gave those enslaved within the rebellious states freedom for the first time. In this context, is the soul synonymous with “heart” or “energy”? I guess we would have to ask President Biden to get the answer.

Walt Disney Pictures and Pixar Animation Studios released an animated film titled Soul at the end of 2020. It follows the journey of a musician who has been separated from his soul and finds his life bleak and uninspired without it. It also follows the musician’s soul into “the Great Before”—the place where souls are taught their values before entering into someone’s body. The film won the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature, and I understand why, beyond just the beauty of the film. To me, there is something oddly familiar about the story, perhaps a confirmation of an idea many of us hold: that there is something beyond this life, whatever it may be, that plays a role in shaping who we are. It is an ancient, archetypal story that has been passed from generation to generation since our earliest days. I wonder if this means that it’s true.

The soul is clearly in the zeitgeist right now. Not in a religious framework, mind you, but one of more universal appeal. When we hear about the soul, many of us nod our heads, even though we may not have our own specific understanding of what it is, exactly, or if we even have one. When I bring up the soul to my patients (which is quite often), the usual response is sheepishness or indecision, as if to say, I know I should be paying more attention to this, but I’m not sure what to think.

When asked to give my opinion of the soul, I do so with enthusiasm and confidence. I believe that my opinion is more of a knowing—an intuitive and decisive point of view honed by years of inquiry and examination. You see, the entire foundation of my spiritual practice is that my soul is real. It is not an animated character, a hyperbolic concept, or some bit of dogma, but an intelligent, conscious entity that resides within me. (And, by the way, I get this information directly from my soul. I am not making this up.)

Yes, I speak with my soul every day—multiple times per day, actually. And my soul speaks back to me. No, I am not delusional; I am simply listening deep within for a response.

My soul communicates in the form of thoughts, feelings, inspired moments, intuitive perceptions, passionate energy, images in my mind, dreams, and compassion. Without this relationship, I would be a very different person—still lost, perhaps.

Much of my life, prior to connecting with my soul, can be summed up as a whirlwind of confused, negative, and self-destructive patterns. My years were filled with criticism and resentment, as I believed that the world owed me something and no one was there to guide me through it. But now I realize that my guide was always there. I had just turned my back on it—primarily because I doubted its existence. And when I found it again, everything changed.

Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung (1875–1961) was arguably one of the most important figures in modern-day psychology. In his seminal writings, Jung devoted much of his time to explaining the soul. He believed that the soul was a conscious element in our psyche that promoted healing and offered direction. In therapy, he focused on attempting to decipher the will of the soul and how to determine its voice.

Jung stated, “Learn your theories as well as you can, but put them aside when you touch the miracle of the living soul.” [1]

For Jung, the soul was the center of wisdom and truth, and communing with it was the most effective way to find happiness. I credit my most transformative psychological growth to the recognition of my soul’s benevolent purpose.

Your soul is with you, always. From the moment you are born until the moment you die, the soul is wrapped around the core of your being. You come into the world without any separation between your soul and your mind. The soul is pure consciousness untethered to human experience. It is our essence undiluted or altered by the experiences we have as humans.

Unfortunately, as we mature and develop our cognitive function, this state of being is lost. Most of us forget these primal moments of peace as we navigate the complications of a busy world. When we feel emotional pain for the first time and doubt creeps into our emerging psyche, our relationship with the soul begins to fray.

It is mostly fear that fuels the counterpoint to the soul: the ego.

The ego is formed through the distillation of our lived experience, most of it challenging and difficult, as a protective mechanism to ward off anything perceived as dangerous. There are many definitions of the ego out there. For the purposes of this book, the ego is the lens through which we see ourselves and make sense of others we encounter along the way. It is a compilation of the many ways we feel about ourselves. It is an amalgamation of our thoughts, feelings, and experiences throughout life and the determinations we embody according to them. It is where we store our insecurity, judgment, anger, and confusion, which are fed by the interactions we have and the information we consume. The ego houses intergenerational trauma—pain that our parents, our parents’ parents, and others through our ancestry have left unprocessed or unresolved and passed to us, whether by familial conflict, communication breakdowns, parental warmth or lack thereof, and so on. [2]

Groups that were historically brutalized, subjugated, or marginalized by more dominant groups tend to have a higher incidence of intergenerational trauma, which leads to higher rates of addiction through the generations. Examples of these groups include African Americans in the United States who were subjected to enslavement, Native Americans who endured forced assimilation or annihilation, and those throughout the world who encountered colonization. [3]

Parents who were abused or traumatized may also pass an emotional burden to their children, so intergenerational trauma can start at any point in a family history.

Even when we attempt to put the heavy weight of the past aside, when we look around the world and recognize the human suffering taking place—including the amount of fighting still required to achieve basic human and civil rights for all—it seems only natural that the ego becomes jaded with negativity and mistrust.

The ego is a direct product of the pain we encounter.

The consternations of survival overwhelm us and disrupt our communication with the soul. Ego consciousness is present in all human beings, and for the most part, we are unaware that it exists. Most of us are an embodiment of ego and no longer function with the soul as our guide, and because of this we are in a constant state of regression. This may be remedied by a simple reminder of what you already know.

The soul is your biggest asset. It is the most powerful healing apparatus that exists. In fact, its very structure is created to mend what is broken in you.

Psychologically, there is nothing that the soul cannot fix. Its primary function is to help you grow, evolve, and realize your most potent and actualized self. It is your greatest teacher and your most enthusiastic cheerleader that perpetually forgives you for your flaws and misdeeds. It is playful, creative, warm, and decisive. It will never recede or falter, as it is reinforced by the divine laws of the universe. I have heard people say, “My soul is damaged; my soul is broken; I need to heal my soul; my soul is suffering.” In actuality, the soul is the most resolute of all our parts. It knows no suffering or pain and can never be damaged. The soul is aware that the ego is fragile and often wounded by the tribulations of the human experiment. It offers itself as a healer, if only we ask, if only we offer it recognition. The soul appreciates recognition—not in the sense that it asks for praise or validation, but that it becomes most active when we acknowledge its presence. This is an easy thing to do.

We have soul moments every day, even if we are not aware of them. Each time we look at something beautiful and are moved by its exquisite nature, we are connecting with the soul. During these instances of appreciation, give a brief nod to the soul—perhaps a simple thank-you. When you spend time with your children, your friends, or your family and there is laughter, gratitude, and authenticity, you are having a soul moment. Take a minute to reflect that glow back to the soul.

When you feel your curiosity abounding and your mind expanding with thoughts of self-assurance and humility, your soul is present. Give your soul a quick hello. Improving your relationship with the soul, and sparking and continuing a dialogue with it, will fill you with a sense of belonging.

Taking stock of these soul moments will help you become aware of how different they are from the ego moments. One springs from a nucleus of love, and the other from self-centered fear. Which do you prefer?

So why do so many refuse to acknowledge the soul’s existence, even as we reference it in common language all the time? Jung wrote, “People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own souls. They will practice Indian yoga and all its exercises, observe a strict regimen of diet, learn the literature of the whole world—all because they cannot get on with themselves and have not the slightest faith that anything useful could ever come out of their own souls.” [4]

Because the ego is so dominant, it attempts to negate the existence of the soul in a competitive power grab. It tries to convince us that the soul is a figment of our imagination. Our ego tells us that we must ignore our pain and rely on the mind to move rationally beyond our frailty. Unfortunately, the mind is not built with a healing function, and therefore we end up frustrated at our ineptitude at solving our own problems. Most of us have never even considered that we possess the ability to heal ourselves. Take a leap of faith with me: for a moment, choose to believe that the soul is real and has the ability to make your life infinitely better. Listen deeply. There is a voice inside you that is waiting for your acknowledgment. You may be surprised by what you hear.

You might find it curious that I am placing so much emphasis on the soul. Maybe you find it naive to think that your addictions could be cured by fostering a relationship with the soul. Skepticism is a part of human nature, but it is expressly derived from the ego. The soul is grounded in a more optimistic point of view.

I am a recovering addict. I have tried multiple different ways to address my obsessive thoughts and compulsive actions. I have endured several stints in rehabs, completed eons of therapy, and attended hundreds of twelve-step meetings. I am an expert in the field of addiction—living it, treating it, writing about it. I have found that of all the resources available to me, my own are the most effective.

Nurturing a relationship with my soul has removed all the self-destructive thoughts and tendencies from my psyche. Although other methods helped nudge me along the way, it was the development of my own spiritual practice that eliminated addiction from my mind and body.

The idea of a spiritual practice is nothing new when it comes to addiction. In fact, many people who have achieved long-term sobriety swear by it. The most widely accepted of these are the twelve-step programs offered in almost every city across the globe.

I would never argue that there is only one path toward long-term sobriety. This would be a shortsighted and ego-minded perspective that would put limitations on other potential solutions. I am happy for those who have found success in these programs and have no judgment or criticism of them. I know that the twelve steps have been helpful to millions of people, but I found another solution that is the soul more universally applicable and easily accessible to all of us.

My therapeutic work with patients centers on the theory that we have the inner resources, strength, and wisdom to resolve our own issues. Though sometimes we need assistance in rediscovering our internal fortitude, it is always in there. Primarily, my aim is to remind you of something you already know but have forgotten along the way. That you possess everything you need to disrupt the addictive cycles inside your mind without necessarily putting blind faith in God.

Your soul is your highest power—no need to search elsewhere.

Instead of looking outward, it requires looking inward. Instead of relying on someone else to relieve our suffering, we use the healing mechanisms that we were born with. When you begin to differentiate the voice of your soul from that of your ego, you will understand what I mean.

Most of us cannot determine the difference between ego identification and the will of the soul. We vacillate between these two states of being throughout our lives. Here is a simple exercise to distinguish the two different voices—one from the ego, the other emanating from the soul.

Exercise

Type out or write down any anxious, critical, or resentful thought that you cannot seem to shake. For example, I wIll never get that job because I’m not smart enough. Look at this statement for a few seconds. See it for what it is: an old narrative that needs replacing. This is your ego filling you with doubt.

Now, cross out or erase that statement from your screen and type out the exact opposite: I will absolutely get that job because I’m smart and qualified. This is the statement coming from your soul, and it is the truthful one. Even if you don’t end up getting hired, this is the message that your soul wants you to hear. It is the loving, optimistic, and accurate one. Do you feel the difference?

Type out five different negative thoughts that have been following you around for a while. Look at them and know they need replacing; do so with their exact opposite.

You should now have a clear understanding of the different voices of the ego and the soul.

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Footnotes

[1] Jung, C. G. Contribution to Analytical Psychology. United Kingdom: Read Books, 2008, 361.

[2] Florien Meulewaeter, Sarah S. De Pauw, and Wouter Vanderplasschen, “Mothering, Substance Use Disorders and Intergenerational Trauma Transmission: An Attachment-Based Perspective,” Frontiers in Psychiatry 10 (2019), https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00728.

3 Veronica L. Holyfield, “Addiction in the Context of Intergenerational Trauma,” Treatment Magazine, October 4, 2021, https://treatmentmagazine. com/addiction-in-the-context-of-intergenerational-trauma/.

4 Jung, C. G. Psychology and Alchemy. United Kingdom: Taylor & Francis, 2014, 41.

You may also enjoy reading Soul-Voice, by Meggan Watterson.