The path to forgiveness derives from grieving
How many times has a therapist or teacher or friend told you to forgive and move on?
And you thought something was wrong with you because forgiveness did not come so easily, through a simple wish to forgive, let go and move on.
Forgiveness is not a choice. Here’s why.
To tell people to forgive instead of guiding them to feel the layers of trauma or emotion—which can take years — is irresponsible and harmful.
The same people that teach forgiveness instead of feeling the layers of emotions, are the ones who haven’t felt and healed their own pain.
When we suppress our own pain we will suppress others, albeit through teachings, fixing, saving, or shaming others for their emotional truth.
How do we forgive?
After avoiding writing on forgiveness in depth over the past six years while I thought about why some hold grudges and others don’t, or some heal faster than others, I discovered the difference was in how much we let ourselves feel.
Forgiveness is the result of feeling grief.
The result. Something that happens without effort. On the other side of authentic healing.
That looks like heaving, wailing, and maybe some angry tears. Grieving is crying. And crying as your younger self who felt the same feelings long ago but couldn’t fully process them because we are told not to feel.
Your true self is underneath the emotional wounds.
That may look like forgiveness, compassion and all the things we hear many teach about, but without an authentic, emotionally honest roadmap to it, as the power of feeling emotions is the missing piece from the puzzle.
This missing piece of the puzzle is what perpetuates the now global false indoctrination. When we have emotional blocks and traumas in the body (which is what we all have as humans), we are heavily programmed and don’t always think for ourselves; we can’t feel what is true because we are not connected to ourselves and our own inner authority.
The road map is… feeling. Not bypassing. Not enlightenment or ascension. Or doctrine or ritual or practices. Or even traveling the world for answers and esoteric experiences. Or in meditations flying high into the cosmos. The answer is right here in our own bodies, our senses, and emotions—the Life within us.
Because we were designed to feel and access more Life and love from God this way. It’s that simple.
When we suppressed ourselves we cut ourselves off from that beautiful flow.
So remember, you can just be you. In all your true feelings. You won’t stay trapped in the stories because healing emotions gives you new eyes, new revelation, new freedom, new lightness, and your authentic self. Your true happiness and forgiveness comes through that, too.